Chipotle Hummus and Rosemary Tortilla Crisps

Vegetarian

I am eating this right now and it's fucking yummy! I made the hummus and realized I wanted something to eat it with (other than a spoon, which was my original plan). Found our Milagro Tortillas and magic happened.

Hummus Recipe


2 Cans Garbanzo beans (drained, reserve juice)
1 1/2 Tbsp Fresh lemon juice
2-3 Chipotle peppers- minced (save the adobo sauce)
3 Tbsp Tahini (you can find it near the peanut butter, it's basically sesame butter)
1 1/2 Tbsp Extra virgin olive oil
2-4 Cloves garlic- minced
1/4 tsp Fresh rosemary- super-fine minced, almost microscopic
Salt- to taste

In a small pan, heat rosemary, garlic in olive oil just until fragrant. Set aside.

Drain garbanzo beans and place in food processor. Add all other ingredients, along with a bit of the adobo sauce from the peppers for extra smoky heat. Pulse until creamy, adding juice from garbanzo beans as needed to keep mixture moist. Don't make it too runny!


Rosemary Tortilla Crisps

Tortillas- Any kind. I've done these with wheat ones and they were great
Super-fine minced rosemary, just a pinch
Sea salt

Mix rosemary and salt. Slice tortillas into eighths and place in a single layer on a cookie sheet that's been sprayed with cooking spray. Lightly spray the top of the slices with the cooking spray and sprinkle with rosemary salt. Bake at 350° for 8-11 minutes until brown like in the pic. Enjoy!

Broke-Ass Beans

Flexitarian


We are super broke right now. I'm talking down-to-change-with-no-income broke. One good thing to always have around is dried beans. I just happen to have about four pounds laying around. You know what that means? Time for beans!


I figured it out, if you already have all the dried spices, this meal would cost less than $10 if you had to buy the rest of the stuff, including olive oil. And unless you are feeding a literal army, it should feed a small family with leftovers for soup tomorrow.

Bean Spice Mix
(All ingredients are dried spices)
1 Tbsp Cilantro
1/2 Tbsp Parsley
1/2 Tbsp Ground White Pepper
1/2 Tbsp Sea Salt
1/2 Tbsp Cumin
1/2 Tbsp Chili Powder
1/3 tsp Basil
1/4 tsp Sage
1/4 tsp Ground Ginger
1/4 tsp Cayenne
1/4 tsp Tumeric
1/4 tsp Thyme


Pepper Mix
2 Jalapeno Peppers- Chopped or Minced (seeded or not)
1/2 Tbsp Chile Pequins (optional)
5 Cloves Garlic- Chopped or Minced
1 Tbsp Liquid Smoke
1 Tbsp Olive Oil or Butter


Broth
1 Sliced Onion
1 Ham Bone (optional)
1 1/2 to 2 lbs Dried Pinto Beans
1 Can HEB Brand Petite Diced Tomatoes- Either Chipotle or Green Chile flavor
Bullion Cubes, Vegetable broth, or whatever you use to make broth
Optional Not-So-Broke ingredient- 1 can of beer or a couple of shots of tequila. Substitute proportionate amount of water for beer.


Directions
Sort and rinse dried beans and either soak over night or do a "quick prime". To quick prime, add beans to boiling water and boil for 5 minutes, give or take. Once they start to float, set aside for an hour while you prep the rest of the ingredients.


Get all the ingredients for the spice mix together and mix. Set dry ingredients aside. 


Finely chop or mince the peppers from the pepper mix ingredients, or cheat and use a mini food processor with a splash of olive oil so your fingernails don't burn. Warm olive oil or butter in small pan and add peppers and liquid smoke. Saute until soft. Add garlic and a splash of water and cover. Once the garlic renders a bit, remove from heat and set aside.


Cut the onion in half and slice. Drain beans, add water to about 2 inches above beans, less if you are using veggie broth. Return to high heat and add broth ingredients, pepper mix, and bean spice mix. Boil rapidly for 20-30 minutes, then reduce heat and simmer (covered) for 2 hours, stirring and tasting broth occasionally. Serve when beans are soft. If you see water running low and you are not near the end of cook time, add some more water and taste. If the broth is bland, try adding bullion cubes, chili powder, or salt. The trick to these beans is a good, strong broth. 

Jalapeno Marinade Beer Can Bacon Wrapped Chicken

That's right. :)

It's like he's wearing a little bacon vest!

1/2 Tsp ground thyme
1/4 Tsp ground tumeric
3/4 Tsp paprika
1/4 Tsp cayenne
1/2 Tsp ground ginger
1Tsp pepper (I used mixed peppercorn, white is good too)
1 Tsp sea salt or more per taste
1 Tbsp light brown sugar
1/2 Small onion minced
1/2 Small onion sliced
2 Jalapenos
5 Cloves garlic minced (we love our garlic)
1/2 tsp lemon juice
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 Can chicken broth
1 5 lb whole chicken, innards removed and fed to weasels
Slices of thick cut bacon


Roasting pan
Aluminum foil 
Big ziploc bag
Glass jar
Small food processor if you've got it. You don't need it, but it makes mincing jalapenos more pleasant.
Beer can- empty. I was going to use a bean can, but I couldn't get the sticky stuff off


I have only ever cooked jalapenos and dates wrapped in bacon before, but it occurred to me recently I could wrap all sorts of shit with bacon! Wrapping meat with more meat is only the natural progression of this idea. And now that I know how easy (and cheap) it is to make a whole chicken is, it's on!


Mix brown sugar, sea salt, pepper, ginger, cayenne, paprika, tumeric, and thyme in the jar with olive oil. 
Mince jalapenos, onions and garlic or chop in food processor. I like the food processor method with 2 tbsp of the broth to make sure the jalapenos and whatnot are super pulverized to make for good marinade spreadage.
Put "garlipenion" in jar with about 1/3 cup of broth. Add lemon juice and shake it up.
Put a couple of spoonfulls of marinade under loosened chicken skin and squish it around under there then place chicken in ziploc and pour half the mixture all over inside and outside of chicken. Use more if you need to, just be sure to reserve some. Put the bird in the fridge to think about its delicious fate.
Pour the rest of the broth into the jar with the remaining marinade and stick it in the fridge too.

Marinating

When you are ready to cook the chicken, preheat the oven to 350°. Pour the marinade/broth into the empty beer can, place in a foil-lined roasting pan, and put the chicken on the can. You see where I'm going with this? Good.
Put the thin sliced onions in through the top hole of the chicken and shove down into the cavity. Get your bacon strips and basket weave them around the front and back of the chicken. My bacon weaving technique needs work... 

I should take a class for basket weaving, this is horrible!

Make a tent over the chicken with foil to trap the steam in and bake for 1 1/2 hours. Remove foil and bake for additional 15 minutes to allow it's bacony skin to crisp. Turn off oven and let the chicken rest a bit before carving.

Mexican Lasagna

Flexitarian Recipe

Mexicans like lasagna too, ya know...

This might be one of my new favorite recipes. Fuckin nomnom to the max!

1 Hatch Green Chile (this is the first time I have used them, they smell yummy!)

1 small onion- diced

1 can each corn and black beans

1 16 oz jar HEB brand Smoky Citrus Salsa

4 HEB brand Fajita seasoned chicken thighs (frozen)

Flour tortillas

Grated cheese

I sauteed the hatch chile in a tiny bit of EVOO to bring out the flavor and now the house smells AMAZING!! Throw everything in the crock on high for 2 hours and low till dinner. 

30-60 minutes before it is done, shred the chicken and replace in pot for the remainder. 

Spray 8x8 baking dish with cooking spray. Layer in tortillas, salsa chicken, cheese, repeat, end with cheese. Bake at 350° for 15 minutes.

Serve with sour cream and cilantro rice.

For Veg recipe you could probably use the veggie protein crumbles or even just use rice instead of chicken. Going to have to try this Veg soon too!