Sesame Soy and Ginger Chicken

 Carnivore Friendly

iPhone photography + my poor attempt at purtyin it up

Chicken Breasts (1-2 per person)
Toasted Sesame Soy and Ginger salad dressing 
Dried minced garlic
1/2 Onion (chopped)
Salt and Pepper


Mix salad dressing, salt, pepper, and a little dried garlic in a bowl. Marinate chicken in salad dressing for a couple of hours. 

Just before going in the oven

Spray a baking pan just large enough to hold the chicken with cooking spray. Remove chicken (reserving marinade) and place in pan with a little marinade in bottom of pan. Mix chopped onions into marinade and pour over chicken. Cover with foil and bake at 350° for 15 minutes. Flip chicken and spoon onion dressing mix over the top, cover with foil, and replace for 15 minutes. Serve with rice.

Jalapeno Marinade Beer Can Bacon Wrapped Chicken

That's right. :)

It's like he's wearing a little bacon vest!

1/2 Tsp ground thyme
1/4 Tsp ground tumeric
3/4 Tsp paprika
1/4 Tsp cayenne
1/2 Tsp ground ginger
1Tsp pepper (I used mixed peppercorn, white is good too)
1 Tsp sea salt or more per taste
1 Tbsp light brown sugar
1/2 Small onion minced
1/2 Small onion sliced
2 Jalapenos
5 Cloves garlic minced (we love our garlic)
1/2 tsp lemon juice
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 Can chicken broth
1 5 lb whole chicken, innards removed and fed to weasels
Slices of thick cut bacon


Roasting pan
Aluminum foil 
Big ziploc bag
Glass jar
Small food processor if you've got it. You don't need it, but it makes mincing jalapenos more pleasant.
Beer can- empty. I was going to use a bean can, but I couldn't get the sticky stuff off


I have only ever cooked jalapenos and dates wrapped in bacon before, but it occurred to me recently I could wrap all sorts of shit with bacon! Wrapping meat with more meat is only the natural progression of this idea. And now that I know how easy (and cheap) it is to make a whole chicken is, it's on!


Mix brown sugar, sea salt, pepper, ginger, cayenne, paprika, tumeric, and thyme in the jar with olive oil. 
Mince jalapenos, onions and garlic or chop in food processor. I like the food processor method with 2 tbsp of the broth to make sure the jalapenos and whatnot are super pulverized to make for good marinade spreadage.
Put "garlipenion" in jar with about 1/3 cup of broth. Add lemon juice and shake it up.
Put a couple of spoonfulls of marinade under loosened chicken skin and squish it around under there then place chicken in ziploc and pour half the mixture all over inside and outside of chicken. Use more if you need to, just be sure to reserve some. Put the bird in the fridge to think about its delicious fate.
Pour the rest of the broth into the jar with the remaining marinade and stick it in the fridge too.

Marinating

When you are ready to cook the chicken, preheat the oven to 350°. Pour the marinade/broth into the empty beer can, place in a foil-lined roasting pan, and put the chicken on the can. You see where I'm going with this? Good.
Put the thin sliced onions in through the top hole of the chicken and shove down into the cavity. Get your bacon strips and basket weave them around the front and back of the chicken. My bacon weaving technique needs work... 

I should take a class for basket weaving, this is horrible!

Make a tent over the chicken with foil to trap the steam in and bake for 1 1/2 hours. Remove foil and bake for additional 15 minutes to allow it's bacony skin to crisp. Turn off oven and let the chicken rest a bit before carving.

Mexican Lasagna

Flexitarian Recipe

Mexicans like lasagna too, ya know...

This might be one of my new favorite recipes. Fuckin nomnom to the max!

1 Hatch Green Chile (this is the first time I have used them, they smell yummy!)

1 small onion- diced

1 can each corn and black beans

1 16 oz jar HEB brand Smoky Citrus Salsa

4 HEB brand Fajita seasoned chicken thighs (frozen)

Flour tortillas

Grated cheese

I sauteed the hatch chile in a tiny bit of EVOO to bring out the flavor and now the house smells AMAZING!! Throw everything in the crock on high for 2 hours and low till dinner. 

30-60 minutes before it is done, shred the chicken and replace in pot for the remainder. 

Spray 8x8 baking dish with cooking spray. Layer in tortillas, salsa chicken, cheese, repeat, end with cheese. Bake at 350° for 15 minutes.

Serve with sour cream and cilantro rice.

For Veg recipe you could probably use the veggie protein crumbles or even just use rice instead of chicken. Going to have to try this Veg soon too!

Beer Can Chicken

Carnivore-Friendly

One of my more difficult recipes, but difficulty is relative. I'm impatient, which makes things more difficult. :)

Guess what? You don't have to make this on the grill! Oven-style, bitches! And guess what else? I'm doing a turkey for me and B's Thanksgiving with a giant can of Foster's in the bird's ass. Oh yeah!

1tbsp Packed brown sugar

1tbsp Paprika (any kind)

2tsp Ground black pepper

1tsp Salt

1tsp Chili powder

½ tsp Garlic powder

¼ tsp Cayenne (more if you're feeling frisky)

1 small onion, thinly sliced

1 (5 lb) whole Chicken, rinsed and patted dry

1 (12-oz) can Lone Star Beer (If you're not from Texas, just don't use Bud. That would be blasphemy to this recipe.)

 Place the oven rack on the lowest track, preheat the oven to 350°Count on about 1 ¾ hours cooking time for a 5 pounder.

 Combine the brown sugar, paprika, pepper, salt, chili powder, garlic powder, and cayenne in a small bowl.

 Tuck under the wing tips of the chicken. Loosen the skin along the breast and thighs of the chicken; place about 1 tablespoon of the rub under the skin and rub in. Sprinkle and rub the rest of the rub on the outside and inner cavity of the bird, reserving 1 tbsp. Cover with plastic wrap, refrigerate at least 20 minutes.

 Drink half the beer in the can. Use one of those pokey, triangle hole making can openers to make 2 more holes in the top of the can. Pour the rest of the rub mixture into the can and add some of the onions (it will bubble up). 

 Holding the bird upright, with the opening of the body cavity at the bottom, otherwise known as the chicken butt, and carefully lower the bird onto the can. Be gentle, it's his first time. ;) Pull out the legs so that the bird stands upright, with the legs and can forming a tripod. Put the remaining onion slivers in the chicken neck. Use a long strip of aluminum foil and make a tent over the chicken to seal in any steam.

 Fifteen minutes before the bird is finished, remove the aluminum foil to let the skin brown during the remaining time.

 Turn oven off after time is up and let it stand for 10 minutes, then carve chicken while on the can. The can will be very hot after it's little adventure and should be handled with tongs.